(The match up of the weak did. not. fail.)
The Red Sox from 1918-2003, the Cincinnati Bengals, the Cleveland Browns, the Cubs, Carl Lafranco. What do all of these things have in common? They are unimaginable, incomparable, un-save-able losers. These tormented souls don't just lose but they find new, embarrassing ways to lose day in and day out.
Going into Monday, Carl "MANSWEATERS" Lafranco was the proud owner of a 34 point lead. What stood between Carl and victory? A tight end by the name of Dallas Clark. 9.95 times out of ten; when you go into Monday with a 34 point lead and your opponent has only a tight end playing...you are going to win. But Carl has somehow, someway managed to stumble his way into the .05 percent.
7 receptions, 183 yards and 1 touchdown...36 fantasy points. That, my friends, adds up to an iamchamp victory...improbable as it may have seemed.
After watching Dallas Clark slap his dick down the field with daddy Peyton, an exhausted iamchamp said only:"Don't call it a fucking comeback," before heading into the locker room.
As if that story was not enough, what made this comeback even more impressive/ improbable/ tailor made to happen to Carl is that Indy had the ball for LESS THAN 15 MINUTES ON OFFENSE IN THE ENTIRE GAME. Stop playing fantasy sports Carl...stop gambling. Stop anything you can lose at because chances are you will find a way to do so.
(In light of the 223-221 iamchamp victory, MANSWEATERS gets optimal shithead for Week 2. By leaving Jonathan Stewart's 10 points on the bench (heir go leaving victory on the bench) Carl has become the proud owner of this dumb person award. Congrats "bro.")
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