draft day reactions

(This post is sponsored by thick-thigh'd blondes under center. HIYOO)

Matthew Bruzzese//fishsticks - My receiving core is weak as shit. I took a lot of chances late in the draft and I think that I started strong and drafted terribly in the middle-late rounds. Here's to hoping that no one on my team gets hurt.

Steven Conigliaro//iamchamp - I think it went well from the 6th position. I think I should have targeted a better second quarter back but other than that it is alright. I think Carl actually didn't have that bad of a draft other than the fact that he let Matt Forte fall to fishsticks.

Eric Gawkoski//Q's NARB - I feel like I have a lot of big time players. Definitely took a couple of gambles but I'm confident I will be in the Superbowl again. Look at it this way...I could have passed on Matt Forte and taken Larry Fitzgerald. That would have been awful.

Michael Guglielmo//Buff Bagwell's Haircut - Awesome! Really feel that I drafted a deep team...at all positions...even my bench is looking good...some people I wanted didn't drop to me...but it's all good...very satisfied with my overall draft

Carl Lafranco//MANSWEATERS - I feel that if I take my blackberry out one more time in the South Bronx, I'm going to get jumped. Not only that, everywhere I go I look like a god damn detective under cover. Some dude asked me if I was in the 46 which is the hub down here. [Me: None of that answer's the question about your draft.] What about it? Got some questions at QB and Leon and Bradshaw do work I'm good. [I think that he meant to say "IF Leon.... but there is no predicting Carl so I didn't bother editing it.]

Steven Querolo//G's Mud Butt - I don't know. I suck.

Ralph Ross//T.O. for president - Honestly, I wasn't happy about it. I was sooo fucking busy at work. I got fucked because some kid didn't show up to work so I had to take his work too. I just didn't have a good pulse on the draft. Didn't even see half of the names come off the board. I have 4 billion running backs...some of which are a crap shoot! Some are solid though.

Chris Taddoni//The Newbie - I feel very strong... especially with my starting squad.... I'm a little worried that I drafted to many unproven rookies on potential alone... I hope it does not screw me....because if it turns out that they don't do anything, my team will struggle.

live blogging the draft

5:20 pm - Returned from a bbq to Conig, Q, G, Ric and Chris stuffing their faces and trading jabs

5:43 pm - Ric just stole G and Chris' draft sheets and ran into his room. G followed in pursuit but not before farting in Q's face. Draft day folks.

5:45 pm - Q is dancing and trying to find a place to sit. He is fighting with Conig.

5:46 pm - Q claims that Conig is extra dirty and states that he will finish last. Newbie is 99% excited, 1% scared.

Something tells me that he will have a big year.

5:48 pm - Ric has to shit...G looks calm, Chris is emailing, Conig actually is shitting and Q looks like he just sharted.

5:49 pm - Ric has gone on record as saying that if G continues to play with that his I-phone he's going to punch his "fucking face"

Ric just whipped his ass with Q's Jason Witten jersey and Q has attempted to regain control of the worthless jersey.

5:51 pm - Special Guest Nick Werbeck has arrived. Truly a historic draft day.

have you seen this man?

Name: Carl La Frank-COOOOOOOOOOOOO.

Alias': French Toast, Crazy Carl, Stupid Idiot, CARL SHUT THE FUCK UP, Dood, Buns, Massa Ass Blasta, Pop-up hitter to panty dropper, Mr. Clutch (at failing), STOMP STOMP, Bro, Last Place Larry, Lucky Loser, Drama Queen, Phantom Boob Grabber, Bleeder, and many more.

Alert: What the French Toast has been MIA like paper planes lately and the public is starting to suspect that he may have had a hand in the death of Jasmine Fiore. Anyone who knows this Axe spraying, fist pumping, injury prone, lovable ball of energy knows that he is capable of no good at any time.

If you know the whereabouts of the devil spawn of Mainland Marian and Lil Wayne -OR- any of you want to pay the $50.00 that you owe for the league then call Commish-Conig ASAP.

it's a cookout bitches

There will be a draft day bbq at 96 Indiana before the draft. If anyone is interested in partaking in some hanging out prior to drafting a team that will probably finish somewhere down south in the standings; then you are more than welcome to join.

rumor: i am champ to get first pick, still have terrible name.

It is no secret to those of you that have done fantasy sports with el commish that he seemingly gets the first pick...all...the...time. Coincidence; he would have you believe but now rumors are flying that a bromance between "i am champ" and little bit of luck himself might have been born from their love of male genitalia as far back as 1998.

After doing a little bit of research (see what I did there); it appears the manlovers celebrated the commish's 26th birthday in Long Beach in April of 2009. Also seen in the photograph is fellow league member Eric (team name: TBD). When asked about his association with the cute couple, Eric denied comment.

Champ's constant spot atop the draft board has irked fellow league members so much so that threats of throwing in the towel prior to the draft have been made. Steve "Eat Me Express " Q was asked about the drafting duo of Champ and luck and his reply was stern: "If he gets footballs (sic) I want my money back." Mike G (team name: TBD) echoed the Express' sentiments: "If he gets it again, I'm going to super kick him HBK style."

It is clear that league-wide rage has already set in despite the fact that we are still over two weeks away from the draft. This is certainly something we here at the blog will keep an eye on as draft day approaches.

In other news the commish has insisted on keeping the generic moniker that he gave himself after a series of fantasy victories. When pressed to change the handle to something new he responded: "But I.....am champ."

I wonder how little bit of luck feels about Champ corn holing all the glory...

an accord has been reached

Despite a select few people (*ahem* Q *ahem* Carl) having their panties in a bunch; the commish has worked hard to get everyone on the same page and his hard work has finally paid off. Draft date is SET: Monday, September 7, 2009 (Labor Day). A special thanks to those who removed the sand from their vaginas allowing this to be possible.

While the time is yet to be announced, setting a date allows all parties to gear up for what will be a truly historic day. For all those who are worried that their busy lives, multiple jobs, girlfriend's parents, pretend social lives, bedtimes, etc. might get in the way of this dick party of fun and yelling; fear not - the draft will take place later on in the evening (sometime after 7:00pm).

From now until draft day, the blog will be active. We will have previews, interviews, and much more.

Pull your boners out boys...it's almost football season.

UPDATE: A special announcement will be made in the coming days concerning draft day. Keep you calenders open and your assholes wide...it's going to be a doozy.