breaking: chris millen's win under review

Nips that cut glass very well may have gotten his first fantasy victory this weekend; then again, he may not have.

In a Battle of the Weak that again - DID. NOT. FAIL. Brett Farve and Bernard Berrian did everything they could to bring fishsticks his second win. When all was said and done Stattracker showed a 205-205 outcome; that is right, a tie. Thanks to Mason Crosby's gay field goal, the teams basically kissed their respective sisters. Alas, the morning came with a much different result - a 205-204 victory for Nips. Enraged by this, I have done research and the result of that research has been forwarded to Yahoo! for an explanation and possible score change.

Long story short, the match up scoring shows that Pitt's D gave up 28 points, which would be -1 in our league; had 3 sacks, which would be +3 in our league and a fumble recovery, which would be plus +2 for a grand total of FOUR points. But for anyone who watched the game, San Diego scored a TD on a fumbled punt return. Being in that those 6 points, in my opinion, shouldn't count towards Defensive points allowed, that would mean that Pitt's D actually gave up 22 points, which would be 0 in our league, which means Pitt's D had 5 points on the week and that Nips and sticks tied. The above summation has been forwarded to Yahoo! in a much more elegant fashion and an answer is expected in the next 24 hours. Big things poppin boys, stay tuned.

UPDATE: Bullshit win upheld. Whatever.

matchup of the weak: fishsticks v. nips that cut glass

The 1-2 fishsticks enter their bye-week nightmare by facing the Chris Millen run Nips that Cut Glass (0-3).

The Nips that Cut Glass owner, ignoring his past performances, is steadfast in his belief that his time is coming: "I hate to say it but I think I'm going to get my first win this week."

This confidence is not unlike the rookie manager who has proclaimed greatness every step of his winless season. However, as the adjusted standings show, he has run into some bad luck so maybe his confidence is warranted? "I don't know why that douche is so confident but when it comes to performing on Sunday/Monday, his team has stunk worse than his horribly smelling shits," stated a defiant fishsticks manager.

Current first place manager, Eric Gawkoski had this to say: "If Chris loses, he's done. But this is a huge week for fishsticks too...if you go 1-3 that hurts. It's going to be interesting to see but I think Chris has an edge. The key player of the week is going to be Shaun Hill...that's a lot of insight."

Surprising house guest Anthony V., known as a sage by many, says "I am going with fishsticks...because I know Matt better."

So what will it be, will fishsticks fall further down the standings and drop to a desperation inducing 1-3 or can he recapture his Week 2 magic and right the ship? Fishsticks manager left us with these words, "He may have a good smile and a huge cock, but none of that will matter when I'm fucking his face like Reggie Bush does Kim Kardashian on any given night....and the Jets on Sunday."