week 2 recap

(This week's recap is sponsored by Jeter's fucktoy Minka Kelly. Why? Well if you are asking that you are gay, but I will indulge your Andy Benard-ness and tell you it's because she plays a cheerleader on a football show....and she is smoking hot.)

Not that anyone but Ric reads this but this week was hectic between becoming a lawyer (officially) and getting sick so all features are going to be short

Optimal Shithead Week 1 - iamchamp, because he said it should be him. To be honest I didn't realize I had to look at the stat tracker Monday night because it changes with the add/drops that people make on Tuesday. Moreover, apparently the match up feature on the league homepage doesn't feature benches. So congrats Steve, you win by default. Week 2's will have better analysis.

Match up of the Weak - MANSWEATERS v. iamchamp. iamchamp had high hopes coming into this season and MANSWEATERS...well he had aspirations of not finishing last. Unfortunately for both, Week 1 was not kind to their hopes and aspirations.

- iamchamp could have (or maybe not) managed victory from the jaws of defeat in Week 1. (I have just been too lazy to figure it out but regardless he ran into buzzsaw in points leader Q'sNARB - FYI iamchamp, Tom Brady did beat you).

- Carl picked up right where he left off in baseball, hockey, basketball, 2008 football...life. DEAD LAST.

So what does Week 2 bring these fierce competitors? Will Conig get back on track towards our first modern day fantasy dynasty and keep Carl in the basement? or will Carl pull a Buster Douglas...All I know? any. given. Sunday.

Match up of the Week - fishsticks v. Q's NARB. Roommates. Friends. Lovers. (What??) A battle for house supremacy could lead to an awkward work week for the two buddies. "Wait till Monday night," said NARB while fishsticks replied: "I won't have to wait till Monday night to lock this week down."

fishsticks manager Matthew Bruzzese has made headlines this week by announcing a forthcoming hiatus from fantasy sports after the completion of this fantasy football season...but can he go out with a bang? or will he continue his path of fantasy mediocrity? Starting Week 2 with an 0-1 record and having to play against a perennial powerhouse does not bode well for the fiery, impatient move maker.

matchup of the week: q's narb v. iamchamp

(Week 1's Matchup of the week is sponsored by female gang tackles leading to boob grabs.)

Picking the Matchup.

Picking this week's "Matchup of the Week" is probably as easy as it is going to get. Since the Marlow based league started in 2007, these two teams have met in the Superbowl every year laying the groundwork for the fiercest rivalry that this league has ever seen.

History

In 2007's championship game Eric aka Q's NARB (then:The Brady Bunch) defeated Conig aka iamchamp (then: Theta) 387-349 to take home the chip. Focused on avenging his loss, Conig (then: Whattanigger) returned the favor in 2008 when he defeated Eric (then:The Champ is Here) 227-226 in what has been ruled a chip for the ages.

The rich history of these two juggernauts does not stop in the fantasy playoffs. When facing each other head to head since 2007, they both own a record of two wins/two losses with Conig holding a slight overall scoring lead (1051-986). If history has told us anything, it is that this is going to be a bloodbath to kick of the 2009 campaign.

Interviewing the players:

On starting the season against each other.

Eric (Q's NARB): "I think it's great for the fans that the two best teams the previous two seasons go at it. Let's face it, me playing Q in week one wouldn't really let the people know that the season is starting.

Conig (iamchamp): "Well traditionally in football the defending championship game participants start the NFL season so I think it makes sense...you know?"

Message for opponent

Eric (Q's NARB): "Message is simple: I'm going to win. If not, he cheated."

Conig (iamchamp): "Do I have a message for Eric? No I don't. It's way too early to start talking about my team as if I even know what the hell they are going to do. We have to get out there and see what we have first."

Predictions

YAHOO!: iamchamp over Q's NARB 208-205.

fishsticks: "Q's NARB because Brady is playing Buffalo."

T.O. for president: "I think pigger is gonna get run over by Big Rig...little bit of luck is about to run out!"

G's Mud Butt: "Who cares. It's homo v. homo. We know a homo is going to win."

The Newbie: "I think we see Rick pull off the upset here. I don't know that Steve is going to get enough out of Torry Holt and Beanie Wells to pull this one out."

MANSWEATERS: refused comment

Buff Bagwell's Haircut: "Ric will take down iam a-hole. The combo of the Heart Throb Tom "yeah he bangs Giesele" Brady and MJD will wreck havoc...scoring many a points for Q's NARB. I AM "SAM" doesn't stand a chance."

So will Eric's reunited love affair with Tom Brady spark another championship run or will Conig's union with former Eric farmhand Aaron Rodgers be enough to set the tone in iamchamps favor? Buckle up folks, this might be the matchup of the season.